Give Me Morphine
by LiKe a dRuG
Summary: Prequel to The Cellar Door Near is sexually assaulted by L and Light, growing a great hatred for Mello because of it. Mello confesses his love for Near before running off. Matt is introduced to firearms. yaoi rape abuse drugs violence smut
1. Pain

**Title**

Give Me Morphine

**Contents**

Death Note

**Pairings**

LxNear LightxL LightxNearxL

**Narration**

Omiscent

**Summary**

Prequeals to The Cellar Door.  
Near is sexually assualted by L and Light, growing a great haterd for Mello because of it.  
Mello confesses his love for Near before running off.  
Matt is introduced to firearms.

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Death Note... Because my Kami wouldn't have died!!

**Warning**

Yaoi. Angst. Smut. Abuse.

**Enjoy**

--

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx ℜ Pain ℜ xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Near?"

No responce.

"Near..?"

No responce.

"Near!!"

"Mello!"

"What? he wasn't saying anything."

Mello took a bit off his chocolate bar, almost growling at the fact he got in trouble. Rodger had come into the common room a few minutes ago, trying to tell Near he had a visitor. Lately Near had no responces, it was like the unemotional boy had gone to the extreme. This was surprising, seeing as this started when L had started making more visits. Mello was jealous, L was visiting Near more than him. Everytime L came to see Near, Mello would surely make a beeline for him before Near. Today, L was meeting with Near in yet another private disccusion. A private discussion was basically a meeting in the orphan's room, doors locked and notices to teachers so they wouldn't be disturbed with anything. The only time L requested a private discussion with Mello was to tell him about how he was destined for failure if he continued to let his emotions run his life. It wasn't fair! Why was Near the favorite! Mello continues to try three times harder than Near EVER will! Why wasn't he the favorite yet? It wasn't fair..

Near stood, almost like he knew what Rodger wanted. He cleaned his dice, Mello thinking he had huge balls to kick it over. Near didn't care, it was just dice after all. He put his toys away and made his way out of the common room. Mello grunted as Near left, Matt walking into the room, saying a friendly hello to Near as he left. The gamer knew about Mello's opinion on Near. Near tweaked him off so badly he had become obessed with what Near was doing every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Near walked down the corridor, head bowed. Rodger looked down at the boy, smiling as he placed a friendly hand on Near' shoulder.

"Cheer up. L's here to visit you."

Near only nodded. He knew L was here.. He knew Light was with him.. He knew what they wanted.. Yagami Light was running the task force against Kira, he was also L's..boyfriend.. Light was only allowed here on account of asking questions. None of the kids really liked him like they did with L. It was because of the look in his eyes. Light was menicing.. Just looking at him smile at you felt like a death sentence. Near knew what Light wanted.. So Light was only threatening to that subject, otherwise he wasn't scary at all. Rodger opened Near's bedroom door, L and Light in a conversation already about being caught between Near and Mello as successors.

"Sorry to have taken so long. Near was in the middle of a dice tower."

L smiled, "Did Mello knock it down again?"

Near nodded, not really wanting to be conscious at the moment. L's smile meant nothing anymore. It was fake.

"I'll leave you alone then." Rodger locked the door from the outside, footsteps leaving.

Light got up and waked over to Near, kissing his cheek gently. "Have you been a good boy since we last met up?"

Near felt sick.

"Tell me Near.." L patted the bedside next to him. Near got the subliminal message and sat next to L. "How bad do you want become my successor?"

Near looked to the floor. He wanted it more than anything in the world, but he knew the answer that L wanted to hear. "I'd do anything for it."

"Anything?" Light purred, resting his chin on Near's shoulder. L ran his finger down Near's front, stopping on the zipper of Near's pants.

"How much can you fit down your throat, I wonder." Light smirked at L's words, it was all a game to them. Near wasn't a person, Near was a doll. A sex doll. On this earth for their own pleasure.

"If I undid my pants, what would you do to me?" L whispered to Light.

It was even more stomach turning when Near had to listen to the two lovers talk to each other about what they'd do. Near was never allowed to penetrate, but he was rammed into all the time. Near couldn't eat much anymore in fear of gaging. He felt so sick, he just wanted everything to get over and done with.

"I'd turn you on until you were well endowed to fit into Near's mouth.."

L smiled, undoing the button to his pants. Near would have groaned, but noises only made them worse. Light undid Near's shirt, hands running up and down Near's chest. It was a show for L, a show in which L was meant to touch himself to. Near could only lean back against Light, following their movements in fear of not doing what they wanted. L was forgiving, he was the sick one.. L made Near's stomach turn. He was the one who would perform these acts to Near that Near didn't even think was possible. He'd leave Near sick to his stomach. Light put the fear into Near. Light was abusive, half the time leaving bruises in places Near's clothing hide. Light was the one Near was afraid to upset. Most of the time this fear for getting hurt resulted in being hurt. Like now, Near's fear of doing anything resulted in his nipples being twisted harshly. He yelped,

"Help Ryuusaki get hard." Light demanded.

Near groaned, hoping that would help. Apparently not, since Light twisted his nipples again. Near shook as his hand ventured up Light's leg, palming a buldge in the front of his pants. It was humiliating. It was horrific. It was stomach turning. It was the only thing he grew to live for.. No, he didn't like any of it, as I've said before. Day in and day out his routine was anything anyone could do. Wake up, eat, study, listen to Mello ramble on, play, sleep. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyone could do it-hell, MELLO did it... Well, he doesn't have to put up with himself yelling.. He's the one who does it. But other than that there's no difference in their daily activities. It was as if he and Mello were the same.. Were exactly the same person.. This is why he hated Mello with a firey passion. Every weekend Near had to have these private visits and silently cry himself to sleep, thinking of a way to hide the marks in the morning. If he and Mello were so alike, why doesn't L take his stupid boy toy to go visit Mello? Why does Mello get to sleep soundly in his bed when Near has to scrub the white stain from his bed? Why does Mello get to have a chance at love when Near was completely drained of any emotion? Why does Mello get to smile so innocently... When Near can't... Mello babbles about his good looks and how all the girls at the orphange are just waiting for the day he asks them to be his boyfriend.. Even if a girl was able to like Near, he couldn't ever say yes.. It wouldn't be fair, he wouldn't be able to give them the love or attention they wanted. Near had dreamed about girls before. Everytime he ever saw one they were always so happy, so kind, so energetic, so loving.. Why, why did Near have to be a sucker for a man? When L found out, he took advantage.. Then he brought in Light..

Light smacked Near hand away from him. "Don't touch me! I'm working the camera tonight."

Light pushed Near off him onto the bed, reaching in his pocket to pull out a digital camera. It was small, but it sure held alot of pictures.. And video. The red light flickered on as Light clicked the top button.

"Well Near.. Give your Sempai a show."

Near looked to L, who hadn't taken his hand out of his pants. A devilish smile peeled across L's lips, Near sighing in result. He knew he better get it over with, the quicker he got the two men off, the faster they'd be gone for another week. Near trailed his fingertips over his stomach, laying back, his head on a pillow. Touching himself wasn't bad.. It was better than what was coming. Pale fingers glided into his pants, passing boxers on their way in. He wrapped his hand around himself just as L took his hand out of his pants. Of course, Near wasn't allowed to stop a show once it started. Near twirled his thumb over his head, playing a bit with his urethra. It took alot of mental convincing that it was just going to be a round of masturbation for Near to get himself up. L knew to wait for Near to get himself hard before playing with him, although Light was a different story. Light really didn't care if Near was enjoying it or not, he was more into himself.

"Near.." L whispered into his ear, seeing Near was successful in his task. "Don't cum on your boxers... You'll need it for lubrication."

Near felt sick again. He hated the feel of his own cum inside him. This was a perfect example of why L was the one that made him feel the dirtiest. Near removed his bottom wear, exposing himself. As soon as the discarded pants hit the floor, a cold wet velet engulfed his hard. L's mouth was never really warm.. It was just as unwelcoming as his appearence said himself to be.

"Suck him harder." Light smirked from the bed end.

L wouldn't suck Near any harder or faster than he was going. He never did. It was always a slow soft tease. If L went harder, than Near would be able to climax faster. Instead he made things agonizingly slow. L ran his tongue up Near, finally pulling back from his crotch. He dragged his tongue around Near's navel, leaving a trail of precum on him. Quickly L removed his clothes, Light barking at near to touch himself again. Finally Near climaxed, spilling all over his stomach. He had brought his hand up to his head, seeing how it was easier to catch it than scoop it up from his stomach. The three of them knew where Near's porceline digits would go next. Near proped his lower half up with a pillow and scooped up what had got on his stomach. He slipped two fingers into himself, lubricating the area with his own spill. It was disgusting, Near wanted to puke. But it's something L made him do.. He stretched himself to L's liking, l positioning himself on top of Near. The same smile looked down at him, making him wish he wasn't there. Making him hate Mello even more..

"Keep your hand there.. Hold yourself open, you know you want to feel me make my way in."

Near looked off to the side, L's hand cupping his cheek to force him to look at him. Near closed his eyes tightly as he held himself open with the two fingers, L smacking him gently. It was just enough for him to get Near to open his eyes. He wasn't abusive afterall.

"Hey.. Open your pretty eyes.. Give me something to look at while I start."

So Near was forced to look at L as he felt him push his way inside. L, however, didn't quiet look at Near. He looked down to see himself enter, then looked to Near.

"Keep them there.. I want you to feel me in you."

Near could feel him alright, but at this point in time Near was usually able to switch into his unemotional boy frame. He looked off to the side, cheeks pink as his eyelids shut halfway. He could hear L, 'umf, umf umf'.. He could feel how L made the bed shake, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper into him. Near had love handles, guess why? L's hands laid right before his hips to help bury himself in deeper. Near could feel his prostate being rubbed by L's length, it only made his cheeks pinker. It was only a matter of time now.. A matter of time before L climaxed..

"Near.. You're so beautiful.."

L taunted in his ear, pants between words. _You're so beautiful.. You're pretty.. That's why they picked you.._

"He's a whore is what he is." Light laughed. "Paint him L! Paint him white! Paint him like the little whore he is!"

L pulled out, taking Near's hand and placing it on his own length. Near gripped L, jacking him as he got on his knees and took his shirt off. Near was completely naked, knowing quiet well what they meant by 'painting'.

"Get closer, make sure nothing misses." L enticed.

Near brought himself closer, L's head just over his neck. Near hated getting it in his face. There were so many holes and curves in your face, it could get anywhere. When L came he spilt onto Near's neck and underside his chin. Near winced at the contact. It was gross.. Always warm and sticky. L took a few deep breaths before he placed a few fingers in the puddle on Near, trailing it down his chest and stomach, dipping a fingertip into his navel.

"Light..?" L looked to his lover. "Would you like to play with Near?"

Light smirked, shrugging. Near would have groaned, but that would make matters worse. He already had his own cum and L's cum on him, he didn't need Light's. Light gave the camera to L and pulled himself out. He buried a hand into Near's hair, gripping it tightly before shoving Near's mouth on him. Light made the rythem, Near knew his only job would be to suck and lick. And try not to gag. Light pulled Near off him, clawing him across the face, leaving red scratches.

"Get your hand up there!"

Light rammed into Near's mouth, thrusting while he slammed Near's head back and fourth. Near reached a hand up, palming Light again. When Light came he bashed Near head down to his hips, forcing Near to deep throat as he spilt inside. Near couldn't help it anymore, he begun to gag. He pulled away from Light to lean over the trash to regurgitate the seamen, but Light had a grip in his hair. He pulled Near's head backward, cuping a hand over his mouth.

"If you spit it up, I'll make you lick it up."

Near swallowed the raise and groaned as he fell back onto the bed. He was a sticky mess. And that's how they left him. Again, L made him sick. Just when Near thought it was all over.. He heard L whisper,

"See you next week."

**--**

**End of chapter one.**

**It's called ****Give Me Morphine**** for two reasons: 1. Morphine numbs you. And that's Kinda what Near wants. Is just a sense of being numb, not feeling any of the pain. and2. Mello and Matt are druggies.**

**First it's Near's past then it melts into Mello and Matt's.**

**Have fun reading it! OH, and I do hope you look for my good friend daxterandboxer's new story! I told her I'd advertise for it because, well, it sounds like a GREAT read!(which is kinda what you expect from her anyways XD I will say she is one writer who knows how to tell a story!)**

**And hugs for Julih who's a cutie X3**


	2. Concrete Angel

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx ℜ Concrete Angel ℜ xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Near laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling all night. He felt dirty, he felt unclean. Tears slid down, falling onto the bed he hated to lay on. Why did L do this to him? Why did he let Light hurt him so much.. Near had always loved L, there was always a niisan feeling with L. Near wondered if this was what love was meant to be like. L told him the night he made his first move that L loved him. Even so, L had to bring in Light.. The pain that night was almost unbearable, the vomit kept coming out. He couldn't hold anything down, up, or in. Near had shed blood that night. He could feel his cherry pop, the cuts from the tears bleeding hard down his thighs. Tonight was so cold, the seamen on his stomach felt like ice. Near was sure his nipples were bleeding, but he wasn't going to move anytime soon. Most of the time he left himself that way, not having the want to change into normal clothes. He didn't let anyone catch him like this either, by midnight Near strolled himself into the boy's shower room. There wasn't any water hot enough on earth to wash it all away. Near tilted his head toward the floor, his body was used as a rag doll.. His emotions were torn so many times.. Near felt horrible. He wanted to leave, to run away from the orphange. But he couldn't.. Near's fate was to stay in the orphange, and become L's successor.

His skin burned. The water was so hot it fogged up the room. Near sobbed, trying to keep his voice down. If he was too loud, someone would hear him. Someone hadn't noticed the 'fragile' sign.. They broke the inside. Near slide down a wall, holding his right shoulder with his left hand, his left shoulder with his right hand. Near always cried at night, it was the only time no one saw him.. No one thought about him.. He wanted to scream as loud as he could, but he didn't want anyone to know L was sick and twisted. Inside it hurt to think that L was a pedifile..

Near slammed his fist into the tiles, not caring anymore if he got hurt. He'd blame it on Mello-that damn Mello.. Mello was handed the whole frikkin world on a silver platter! He kept his grades up, he got all the ladies, he has friends... How come Near wasn't given those choices? He studied just as hard as Mello did... Why did Mello get this top knotch life.. Near had such a hate for Mello, it was literally unbearable.

Speak of the devil, someone walked into the shower room.

"...Is someone in here?"

_Mello_. Near thought bitterly. "...Yes.."

"Oh, Near, it's just you... I guess I don't have any problems showering with you..."

Mello removed his clothes. Near could see them slip onto the floor from under the stall, his eyes widening. Was Mello serious? He was comfortable taking a shower NAKED with his enemy? He's got to be extremely tired or over worked. Mello got up early most of the time, but he sounded crazy just mentioning he was alright with being naked in front of Near. Mello ventured into the shower area, looking over to Near. The boys was doin his best to conceal himself, although Mello could really care less. Near looked to Mello, he was well endowed.. But obviously wasn't hard. Mello rose an eyebrow, first at why Near was trying to hide himself and then because Near was staring at his crotch.

"...You alright Near?"

No responce.

"..Near?"

No responce. Mello knealt down next to Near, the hot water hitting his back. Near scooted away, trying his best to cover up anything that even looked like he was hurt.

"Near... You're hurt.. Did the boys beat you up again?"

"Yes. They beat me up... Because I'm.. _disgusting_."

Tears filled Near's eyes, but the water from the shower hide them well. Using the excuse 'the boys beat me up' could allow Near to say a tweaked form of what happened without using sexual gestures or names. It also gave him an excuse to say what he's been thinking.

"...Let me guess, you told Rodger?"

Near shook his head, "No.. Why would I? It'll pass over.."

"...Near.. If I tell you something.. Will you forget I'm naked for a few seconds?"

This was an odd way to start a conversation. "I can try.."

Mello wrapped his arms gently around the boy, kissing his cheek. This put Near on edge. The only time before this he was kissed on the cheek was by.. _Them_. Mello nuzzled gently against his skin, it felt all to familiar to a different situation. Near's skin crawled, it felt dirty all over again. How could he forget that they were naked? The position they were in looked exactly like the bedroom.. Near was a little more than freaked out. He felt like screaming, like crying, like punching Mello in the face. Then, the unexpected happened. Mello whispered softly into Near's ear,

"_I love you_."

Near couldn't take it. It was all like he was reliving the nightmare. He pushed Mello off him as far as he could, flailing himself up to his feet. He glared down at Mello, who saw the marks on Near for the first time.

"I hate you Mello! I've always hated you with my whole heart!"

Near's glare intensed, Mello's look weakening with a hint of tears in his eyes.

"I hope you die."

Near ran out of the shower, to his room. He knew he risked someone seeing his marks by running naked, but he didn't care at the moment. Like he already played in his head, he'd blame them on Mello. He quickly got dressed and flopped into his bed, crying into his pillow. Everything hurt, everything felt like he was trapped in some lifetime movie. He wanted to become numb, to not feel anything anymore. He wanted morphine..

The next day, Rodger would call them into his office...

**--**

**And so we switch off to Mello's issues! D won't that be great!?**


	3. L is Dead

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx ℜ L is Dead ℜ xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Mello woke up early, not even yawning. He kept thinking about last night. _I guess it was stupid to tell your rival that you love him_. Mello sighed, changing out of his jammies. Mello looked through his drawer, long sleeve black shirt and black pants.

Mello walked downstairs, biting the corner off a chocolate bar. He waited outside of Rodger's office, waiting for Near. He knew it wouldn't take long, Near was never obscurly late. Mello tapped his foot as the boy walked up the hall, puzzle under his arms. He looked defeated, like there was absoulutly nothing in the world to live for. Well, that was until he saw Mello. Than the Near everyone knew came back. A competitive smirk across his face, confusing the hell out of Mello. How could he go between emotions so quickly?

"Hello second."

Mello's jaw dropped for a moment before he grit his teeth. _Punk._ They walked into Rodger's office together, Rodger looking rather mournful. Mello stepped up to the desk, smiling. Near was quiet the opposite. He sat in the middle of the room, redoing his puzzle.

"Boys... This is going to be hard... L ... Is dead."

Near's eyes widened, Mello leaning over the desk. No one was paying attention to Near, so it was fine for him to express himself. He smiled. L's gone. No more visits.. No more sex, no more hot showers. Near had never felt so... confused.. With L gone, no more sodomy.. But no more L... Near felt at a tie.

"What do you mean L's gone!? He can't be dead!"

Near spilt his puzzle on the floor. "L was weak. Obviously he wasn't fit for the job." It was his way at smirking without showing emotion.

Mello glared. Near was so cold.. He grabbed Rodger, "Who'd he pick?? Near or me??"

"He didn't pick.. That would mean both of you." Rodger was calm.

Near's insides shattered at this answer. It took everything in him not to shout or scream. _You promised me __**I'd**__ be your successor! Me! Not Mello! You told me if I let you have your way than I'd be garunteed the position!_ That was the moment, Near decided never to let anybody get close to him ever again.

"You know what?" Mello tilted his head forward, thinking back to last night. "That's fine.. Let Near be the successor, he deserves it."

Near didn't even watch Mello as Mello left the room. Rodger sighed, knowing they could have done much more together than apart. He looked to Near, who was just now showing emotion. Near would never be sorry for everything he said.. But he just couldn't believe that after everything... L let him down..

"Near? Is something wrong?"

Near looked up at Rodger, wiping the tears from his eyes. "No.. Just upset that my idol is gone."

Rodger nodded, not knowing the real reason. While Rodger spoke Near was thrown into a flashback. L's promising hand, his voice seemed so committed.. Why did he agree to keep quiet? He should have yelled it from the roof top.. Yes, Near cared for L very much.. But he never wanted to be the sex doll L wanted him to be. And Light, oh Light... Near would make sure he was murdered. Inside Near's chest his heart pounded against his rib cage screaming in pain. L promised-he _**promised**_.. Near caught the end of Rodger's speech.

"So don't worry about packing. Get a good rest for tomorrow."

That was it? Near didn't know exactly what was going on.. He stood, cleaning up his puzzle, and walked to his room.

Mello packed all his stuff into a carry around pack back. Matt walked into the room,

"How did the meeting go?"

Mello grunted.

"Not good?" Matt asked.

"Fucking L didn't choose.. So I told Rodger that Near could be the successor. I told him I'd leave."

"...Why?"

"Because..."

Matt shruged and begun to pck his things. Mello looked at his friend skeptically.

"What the hell are _you_ doing?"

"You honestly don't think I'd let you out there on your own, now did you?"

Matt smirked, Mello smiled. The boys finished their packing and stood at the top of the steps that ascended to the large french doors of Wammy's house. Mello looked back to the door, just as he did he felt a warm embracing hand on his shoulder. His eyes followed up the arm that belonged to the hand, to find it was Matt. Smiling with reassurence. In return Mello smiled back, realizing just how lucky he was to have a friend like Matt.

"It'll be okay."

Mello nodded. "...I know.. I just..." Mello turned his head from the Wammy house. "Let's go."

They took the faithful steps down the stairs and walked off into the afternoon.

Hours later the dou found that they had gotten lost. They were on a highway, little to no money on them and hungrey stomachs. The sun had gone down, providing them with a cool night to walk on. The stars shimmered, giving them hope. Somewhere, there was a place with welcoming open doors for boys like them, where they'd be fed until fat and clothed in clean jammies. Unfortunatly... They didn't know where this was or how to get there.

"You know, Columbus found American when he was lost. He was trying to prove the world was round. So we're bound to find something soon."

"Matt."

Mello started. This was their form of ignoring the hunger in their bellies and the cold nipping at the nape of their necks. They discussed things, being the second and third best childern from Wammy's.

"First off, Christopher Columbus was England's biggest retard."

"How you say?" Matt rose an eyebrow.

"Columbus went off on his retard expedition in 1492. Two thousand years BEFORE he made his stupid little claim, Aristotle spoke up and proclaimed that the earth was round in 350 BC, after Crates of Mallus made the first _globe_ in 150 BC."

"Well.. At least he found America." Matt shruged.

"No he didn't." Mello scoffed.

"What!?"

"See, North America was never _lost_."

"Oh ha, ha, ha." Matt rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Indians inhabited it."

"...I knew that!"

"Well than, why say Columbus found America if you knew about Indians? Or do we have the next Christopher Columbus of the 21st century?"

Matt smirked. "Any way I put it you find a way to see how I'm wrong."

"And that's why you're number three."

"...Number two." Matt smirked, playfully.

Mello stopped in his tracks. "What did you call me?" Stern.

Matt turned around, still smirking. "I said you're number _two_."

Mello growled, and ran after Matt. The boys would run down the whole highway until they came to a near by city...

**--**

**I haven't updated this in so long.**

**I almost ended it too short o.o I forgot about Mello and Matty's adventures and just put down Near's. Can't forget our boys!**

**Review?**


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